"Nilsson is the best contemporary soloist in the world. He is It. He is the something else The Beatles are. He is The One." - Derek Taylor
You are standing in what used to be South Dakota. You stare at a beautiful mountain vista rising up out of the forest and plain. As you take in the natural perfection, a voice from Heaven says, "You think this is special? You should have seen it with the giant heads carved into it."
I discovered Harry Nilsson just last week so forgive me if I wax a bit rhapsodic. I mean, I guess I knew Nilsson but I didn't KNOW Nilsson. He holds a unique place in pop history. He's not a one-hit wonder although most people know him from "Without You" or "One". He's not a maverick underground unknown who has a catalog that gains steam over time, eventually becoming an accepted part of the retroactive zeitgeist (i.e. Tom Waits).
Today? I feel born again, waking up to a new world, one where Nilsson has emerged. Was I holding him at arm's length before this? Did I blink and miss him? Did I change? Why Nilsson? Why now? How could I have ever lived without him? And what the hell happened? Why is this the saddest story in American pop history?
Perhaps Nilsson knew all along that one day he would lose his gift. Perhaps that is why he so unflinchingly followed his muse. Perhaps he knew the expiration date on his genius would precede his own death. Perhaps that's why he raced to destroy himself before his magic evaporated. But it didn't work. He survived. And spent the last fifteen years of his life a mere mortal.
Derek Taylor's words above were not merely coughed up in order to serve as liner notes on Nilsson's 1968 album "Aerial Ballet". No, Taylor introduced Nilsson's music to John, Paul, George and Ringo. They then famously touted him as their favorite American artist at the press conference announcing the formation of Apple.
The image that comes to my mind of what happened next is of Nilsson donning a motorcycle helmet emblazoned with the Stars and Stripes and then being shot out of a cannon across the next 15 years of the American landscape. He is simultaneously a perfect success story and a tragic failure. He has faded from memory. His biggest hits were the least representative of his particular brand of genius, as great as they are.
Let's back up a second and look at a fraction of what he did.
Doesn't it seem as if "you put the lime in the coconut you drink it right up" is a song passed down since before the dawn of time? Nilsson WROTE it. It's a god damn cave painting. Oh, the theme song to "Midnight Cowboy"? That's Nilsson the interpreter singing someone else. Randy Newman's winning Oscars with Pixar? Nilsson recorded an entire album of Randy Newman songs before anybody knew who the hell he was. 1970 for pete's sake.
Children's album with animated TV show? Check. Crooning standards with the London Philharmonic for a BBC Special? Check. Blood on the microphone rock and roll debauched screaming with John Lennon? Check. Oh man, you gotta tell it all at once and it's impossible.
England has a couple of thousand years on us so I guess they cultivated four of them. We're young over here in the States. We got one. The loneliest number.
I will be writing about Nilsson forever.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Jackass 3: Meaningless Bravery
I once saw a portion of a documentary about a South American tribe. Part of their ritual passage to adulthood involved elaborate stunts designed to bring the youth face to face with fear. They stood on top of tree trunks that had been shorn of all branches. The trunks were held in place by guide wire. Which were then removed. The teen had to scramble to hold onto the falling trunk. The philosophy behind it was to prepare the teen for the perils of adulthood and hunting.
I studiously avoided "Jackass" while it was on television and by the time they'd transitioned into movie theaters I was full-on into parenting and was only seeing Pixar films.
Oh, I'd seen snippets here and there and knew who all the reprobates were but I'd not been IMMERSED.
My outlook on them, I'll admit, was shaped in large part by the traditional media response. They were degenerates, this was everything that was wrong with America, these no-talent attention-whores needed to be stopped.
I was reminded of how much heat skateboarders took when that craze started hitting the streets. Apparently it was okay to join a group of kids and pursue an activity but going out and doing it ON YOUR OWN IN PUBLIC was beyond the pale.
So I am a bit ashamed of the knee-jerk conservatism that I was espousing.
Imagine my surprise when I finally watched the movie "Jackass". Melody was bartending and I was in NYC for a few days visiting. The bar had a downstairs private room with a TV and VCR. Yes, vcr. The only tape? "Jackass".
I figured I should watch this piece of trash. An hour and a half later I was exhausted from crying and laughing and recoiling in horror. They changed my mind entirely that night.
Human beings love to witness acts of bravery. We re-tell them, we fictionalize them, we invent them in order to shine a spotlight on the best facet of human behavior. Our willingness to ignore peril if need be.
The image of the firefighter rushing into a burning building is the perfect example. An act like that reassures us that we are NOT simply beasts, that we have a higher level of morality, that we can operate heroically INSIDE of fear. In fact, this might be one of our defining characteristics. Animals do amazing things in response to danger but they don't have the same knowledge of mortality that we do.
I find there to be a deep beautiful philosophy at work in the "Jackass" catalog. And I am one-hundred-percent serious.
They isolate that characteristic - the human ability to face grave danger with aplomb and they REMOVE THE CONTEXT FROM IT. I find this to be endlessly fascinating.
In "Jackass 3", Johnny Knoxville does a stunt called "Invisible Man" in which he is painted to fit perfectly into a mural of a rainbow spread across a field with a tree in it. Knoxville stands in front of the mural and the camera is lined up so that he essentially disappears.
A bull is then let loose into the corral. The hope is that he will be "invisible". But of course, the bull isn't perfectly lined up like the camera. Bulls can't see color. Knoxville is a sitting duck. He successfully evades a goring but then the bull sneaks around the back of the mural and roars out at Knoxville. He leaps to avoid the bull but the bull rams his legs, sending Knoxville head over heels into the mud, receiving a nice kick in the head for his trouble.
As Knoxville is standing there and hoping against hope that the bull will not see him, his fear is palpable. The charming thing about all of the "Jackass" crew is that they allow us to see their fear. They don't hide it with false bravado like so many of the youtube pretenders who intentionally hurt themselves for attention.
And that is why I can occasionally find myself very moved while watching instead of just horrified or grossed-out. It is as if they are showing us that we don't have to be so afraid of pain, that we are stronger than we think.
If you transplant these staged stunts into real life, a whole layer of respect and admiration would come into play. A man was inadvertently left in a corral and withstood a brutal bull charge! The strength! Two members of a marching band were attacked by a ram! The trumpet player distracted the ram from the tuba player who was almost unconscious on the ground!
Meaningless bravery.
And total acceptance of your friends. There is a running gag in "Jackass 3" called "Rocky" in which Bam Margera sneaks up on someone from behind. He throws water at one side of their face to distract them and punches them from the other with a boxing glove.
Do fights ensue? No! The person rolls around on the ground in pain for a while and then they laugh and hug.
I know it sounds stupid but for me, it accentuates how capable we are of forgiveness, how willing we are as human beings to incorporate flaws into our relationships. The acceptance of these ambushes is very telling.
My favorite portion of "Jackass 3" comes when we see Ryan Dunn sitting in a comfy leather chair in a re-enactment of the famous speaker ad. He seems to be in a comfortable living room. The air from the speaker becomes so intense that he is actually blown from the chair. We then see that the "speaker noise" is being generated by the tail end of a jet airplane which is about 30 feet from Dunn.
He is blown across the airfield. He attempts to get up. He is blown further back. He is blown along the ground for several yards. He struggles to position himself so that he can even attempt to stand up. After a few agonizing moments he achieves upright status. But it is clearly taking every ounce of his will to do so.
After that massive effort to stand up, what does he do?
He jumps into the air so that he will be hurled backwards again. Because he knows it will make his friends laugh. What I was left with was the image of a small creature buffeted about by a force impossibly greater than its own. And that creature didn't crawl away in disgrace. He got up time and again to continue to face it. And tried to get a laugh doing it.
Consider me a jackass.
I studiously avoided "Jackass" while it was on television and by the time they'd transitioned into movie theaters I was full-on into parenting and was only seeing Pixar films.
Oh, I'd seen snippets here and there and knew who all the reprobates were but I'd not been IMMERSED.
My outlook on them, I'll admit, was shaped in large part by the traditional media response. They were degenerates, this was everything that was wrong with America, these no-talent attention-whores needed to be stopped.
I was reminded of how much heat skateboarders took when that craze started hitting the streets. Apparently it was okay to join a group of kids and pursue an activity but going out and doing it ON YOUR OWN IN PUBLIC was beyond the pale.
So I am a bit ashamed of the knee-jerk conservatism that I was espousing.
Imagine my surprise when I finally watched the movie "Jackass". Melody was bartending and I was in NYC for a few days visiting. The bar had a downstairs private room with a TV and VCR. Yes, vcr. The only tape? "Jackass".
I figured I should watch this piece of trash. An hour and a half later I was exhausted from crying and laughing and recoiling in horror. They changed my mind entirely that night.
Human beings love to witness acts of bravery. We re-tell them, we fictionalize them, we invent them in order to shine a spotlight on the best facet of human behavior. Our willingness to ignore peril if need be.
The image of the firefighter rushing into a burning building is the perfect example. An act like that reassures us that we are NOT simply beasts, that we have a higher level of morality, that we can operate heroically INSIDE of fear. In fact, this might be one of our defining characteristics. Animals do amazing things in response to danger but they don't have the same knowledge of mortality that we do.
I find there to be a deep beautiful philosophy at work in the "Jackass" catalog. And I am one-hundred-percent serious.
They isolate that characteristic - the human ability to face grave danger with aplomb and they REMOVE THE CONTEXT FROM IT. I find this to be endlessly fascinating.
In "Jackass 3", Johnny Knoxville does a stunt called "Invisible Man" in which he is painted to fit perfectly into a mural of a rainbow spread across a field with a tree in it. Knoxville stands in front of the mural and the camera is lined up so that he essentially disappears.
A bull is then let loose into the corral. The hope is that he will be "invisible". But of course, the bull isn't perfectly lined up like the camera. Bulls can't see color. Knoxville is a sitting duck. He successfully evades a goring but then the bull sneaks around the back of the mural and roars out at Knoxville. He leaps to avoid the bull but the bull rams his legs, sending Knoxville head over heels into the mud, receiving a nice kick in the head for his trouble.
As Knoxville is standing there and hoping against hope that the bull will not see him, his fear is palpable. The charming thing about all of the "Jackass" crew is that they allow us to see their fear. They don't hide it with false bravado like so many of the youtube pretenders who intentionally hurt themselves for attention.
And that is why I can occasionally find myself very moved while watching instead of just horrified or grossed-out. It is as if they are showing us that we don't have to be so afraid of pain, that we are stronger than we think.
If you transplant these staged stunts into real life, a whole layer of respect and admiration would come into play. A man was inadvertently left in a corral and withstood a brutal bull charge! The strength! Two members of a marching band were attacked by a ram! The trumpet player distracted the ram from the tuba player who was almost unconscious on the ground!
Meaningless bravery.
And total acceptance of your friends. There is a running gag in "Jackass 3" called "Rocky" in which Bam Margera sneaks up on someone from behind. He throws water at one side of their face to distract them and punches them from the other with a boxing glove.
Do fights ensue? No! The person rolls around on the ground in pain for a while and then they laugh and hug.
I know it sounds stupid but for me, it accentuates how capable we are of forgiveness, how willing we are as human beings to incorporate flaws into our relationships. The acceptance of these ambushes is very telling.
My favorite portion of "Jackass 3" comes when we see Ryan Dunn sitting in a comfy leather chair in a re-enactment of the famous speaker ad. He seems to be in a comfortable living room. The air from the speaker becomes so intense that he is actually blown from the chair. We then see that the "speaker noise" is being generated by the tail end of a jet airplane which is about 30 feet from Dunn.
He is blown across the airfield. He attempts to get up. He is blown further back. He is blown along the ground for several yards. He struggles to position himself so that he can even attempt to stand up. After a few agonizing moments he achieves upright status. But it is clearly taking every ounce of his will to do so.
After that massive effort to stand up, what does he do?
He jumps into the air so that he will be hurled backwards again. Because he knows it will make his friends laugh. What I was left with was the image of a small creature buffeted about by a force impossibly greater than its own. And that creature didn't crawl away in disgrace. He got up time and again to continue to face it. And tried to get a laugh doing it.
Consider me a jackass.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Too Late For Stitches
So I sliced my finger open at the Hollywood Bowl while waiting for Dolly Parton to come on stage to do the second half of her incredible concert. I was attempting to use a bottle opener to pry a bottlecap off of a large Stella Artois. The cap took a layer of glass with it and my finger met this jagged terminus in a lusty embrace.
I moseyed on down to the First Aid Center beneath the Bowl. A drunken older female fan who could never have gotten away with the length of her skirt anywhere else in the world was up on a table while a nice EMT dabbed her bleeding knee with Hydrogen peroxide. Her daughter paced outside the room on a cell phone in an even smaller outfit. One too young, one too old for their respective skirts.
My EMT was a burly guy who gently daubed at the cut, told me I should go to an Urgent Care facility for stitches, and then told me that HE wouldn't go if the same thing happened to him. So I let him wrap the cut and I headed back up to my seat.
Melody was waiting, worried.
Dolly was transcendent, playing about 10 different instruments, cracking jokes left and right, and pouring her heart out in song.
Cut to a couple of days later and I begin to be convinced that there is still glass in the cut. My doctor reassured me that there was not. But when I asked if I needed stitches, she said, "Oh no, it's too late for stitches."
This statement has been bouncing around in my brain ever since I heard it. It seems apropos in all areas of my life. I am healing. I ought to have sought help earlier than I did. Therefore, I will heal from the damage the best I can.
I am not viewing this in a negative way. It is really a jolt of gratitude that is prominent in my thinking. Because how could I ever wish for a different life than the one I've got? To trade even the darkest of detail for some unknown lighter possibility is to deny the brightest of the bright spots that I have had access to. And that is simply not honorable.
So yes, it is too late for stitches. Yes, I let injury go untreated. But like Dolly at the Bowl, what a show I've gotten to see.
Earth, I love ya, babe.
I moseyed on down to the First Aid Center beneath the Bowl. A drunken older female fan who could never have gotten away with the length of her skirt anywhere else in the world was up on a table while a nice EMT dabbed her bleeding knee with Hydrogen peroxide. Her daughter paced outside the room on a cell phone in an even smaller outfit. One too young, one too old for their respective skirts.
My EMT was a burly guy who gently daubed at the cut, told me I should go to an Urgent Care facility for stitches, and then told me that HE wouldn't go if the same thing happened to him. So I let him wrap the cut and I headed back up to my seat.
Melody was waiting, worried.
Dolly was transcendent, playing about 10 different instruments, cracking jokes left and right, and pouring her heart out in song.
Cut to a couple of days later and I begin to be convinced that there is still glass in the cut. My doctor reassured me that there was not. But when I asked if I needed stitches, she said, "Oh no, it's too late for stitches."
This statement has been bouncing around in my brain ever since I heard it. It seems apropos in all areas of my life. I am healing. I ought to have sought help earlier than I did. Therefore, I will heal from the damage the best I can.
I am not viewing this in a negative way. It is really a jolt of gratitude that is prominent in my thinking. Because how could I ever wish for a different life than the one I've got? To trade even the darkest of detail for some unknown lighter possibility is to deny the brightest of the bright spots that I have had access to. And that is simply not honorable.
So yes, it is too late for stitches. Yes, I let injury go untreated. But like Dolly at the Bowl, what a show I've gotten to see.
Earth, I love ya, babe.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
April Fail's Day 2011
Every April Fool's Day I get my sister Siobhan with some crazy notion. Over the years I have convinced her that the Yankees were moving to New Jersey, that I'd played a private gig jamming with The Replacements' drummer, and in a prank I regret because it worried her, I claimed I had a broken foot and I needed her to come to Los Angeles immediately to drive me around for the next month. She's such a good sister, she agreed on a MOMENT'S NOTICE!
After that one I vowed that my pranks would never be sad or scary again.
But for the past couple of years she has been impervious. I would call her and she would answer the phone already on the defensive..."What? What is it, Bren? What do you have to tell me? What's goin' on???"
I'd almost given up hope.
Then, last October, I had a flash, the kind that all the great geniuses talk about. I saw the whole thing laid out before me. It was like being able to tell the future!
In five minutes I had the whole plan.
Immediately I contacted Nate Shelkey, an old friend of the O'Malley family. Nate and Siobhan went to James Madison University together and have remained close friends. Nate was to be crucial to my plan.
I laid out my dastardly plot to him and he jumped on board. I will now be cutting and pasting from a succession of emails between Nate and I about emails he sent to Siobhan...
Email # 1
November 16, 2010
"I am auditioning for a feature directed by some hotshot kid who went to JMU. He is a sports fan and saw my Santa ESPN thing and asked his manager to find me. What a coincidence, huh? He has only been out here six months but his short films got him a studio job directing a supernatural thriller. I audition next week...psyched."
Nate paraphrased a bit from that paragraph which I instructed him to send. He was worried that she might ask what the guy's name was but, and later this would seem like a sign that we'd missed, she merely took the information in as par for the course in Nate's busy burgeoning acting career.
Email Trail # 2
December 3, 2010
nate shelkey wrote:
it is done!
On Mon, Nov 29, 2010 at 3:47 PM, wrote:
...INITIATE.
In this email you will DOWNPLAY your excitement at the callback because it is such a big part and your agent/manager said names might be attached.
The film is not yet titled but it entails a desperate man's search for a shadowy figure from his past. Feel free to elaborate on the horror/suspense acting you are working on for your callback which happens at the end of this week.
Now that she hasn't asked the name of the director you can concentrate on the MOVIE instead of the fact that the guy is from JMU.
Embellish however you see fit keeping in mind that we will be shooting some of what you write.
Somewhere in December Nate actually saw Siobhan in New York City...the big callback in his career was not discussed.
My theory in the next phase was that we would wait until March to continue the lie. This is what Nate wrote to Siobhan that day...
Email # 3
March 8, 2011
Two exciting bits o' news.
#1 I booked my first co-star! It's for Chuck. I play a Super Shuttle Driver. It shoots next week and it is a very funny little scene. Should be fun! I'm totally excited!
#2 Remember that movie I was telling you about? Well, I got that part and we finished shooting. I wasn't really allowed to say anything about it before. But it looks like they are gonna give me some footage so I can put it on my reel before the whole thing is done. I really wanna update my reel so I can hopefully get some sort of agent interest while pilot season is still going on!
I can't wait to show you my big scene. It should be pretty cool---I still am sort of nervous about it because I've been used to doing comedy so long that I am a little rusty on serious acting! Yeesh. You'll have to let me know what you think!
Now in the meantime, Nate, Cousin Timothy, and I got together at the office where I work (as of next Monday I'm moving on though, after 4 years, post coming on that whole big thing) and we shot for a couple of hours.
We then met the next weekend to edit it at Nate's apartment.
The final product was ready and waiting.
Final Email (or so we thought)
March 31, 2011 (8:55PM sent)
Nate Wrote:
Okay, here we go. Exciting! Here is a clip that they gave me for my reel. It's a rough cut but this is basically the beginning of the movie. Does it seem good enough for like something dramatic?
Razing The Bar
Let me know what you think.
Please take a moment to watch the video before we continue on with the post. It is just over 3 minutes long.
Are you back? You can see how the joke would play out, right??? She's been hearing about this movie for almost 6 months and finally when she watches it, there is ME, ACTUALLY SAYING THE WORDS "APRIL" AND "FOOL".
Can't miss, right???
Wrong.
Siobhan emailed Nate saying, "Looks great! Good film quality!"
She clearly had not watched the whole thing! She must have seen a portion of it and then moved on, as we all do with the myriad things people send us to watch. We enlisted Siobhan's fiance Ben to help hammer the point home.
Nate posted the clip to Ben's wall and Siobhan's wall on Facebook.
Hours later? She "liked" it. NO REACTION!!! WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON???
Ben frantically texted me that I needed to check my email. Okay, maybe he wasn't frantic but I was by this point.
I checked my email. This is what Ben wrote to me...
Email # 37 (uncounted emails between Nate and I wondering how the plan could have gone wrong)
April 3, 2011
Got home, asked if she'd watched this video Nate posted on my wall, she said, "yeah, I watched it." Boom.
So, quite a bit later, I sat down next to her, started watching w/ volume off, and laughed loudly when you came on. She asked why i was laughing, i said, "Did you watch the whole thing from Nate? B/c something really funny just happened." So I started it over, put the laptop in her lap, and videoed her watching the thing, TOTALLY ENJOYING IT, AND NOT GETTING THE JOKE! I even said, after, "were you surprised Brendan was in it?" And, "If it was for Nate's 'serious' reel, it seemed pretty goofy." But no, she said--no problem--the serious part before you came in could all be used for the reel. Oh, and how great Tim participated, too.
So--no fucking idea what comes next! But as much as I was almost giggling, and probably also looking amazed throughout the whole thing, she doesn't know anything yet. So we can keep trying. But I don't know how...
I'd finally had enough. I called up and demanded to speak with Siobhan.
I explained the whole thing to her and she kept saying, "You did all that?" But the joke had never landed.
Or, it did land, but right on top of me. Siobhan had finally gotten me back.
April Fail's Day!!!
After that one I vowed that my pranks would never be sad or scary again.
But for the past couple of years she has been impervious. I would call her and she would answer the phone already on the defensive..."What? What is it, Bren? What do you have to tell me? What's goin' on???"
I'd almost given up hope.
Then, last October, I had a flash, the kind that all the great geniuses talk about. I saw the whole thing laid out before me. It was like being able to tell the future!
In five minutes I had the whole plan.
Immediately I contacted Nate Shelkey, an old friend of the O'Malley family. Nate and Siobhan went to James Madison University together and have remained close friends. Nate was to be crucial to my plan.
I laid out my dastardly plot to him and he jumped on board. I will now be cutting and pasting from a succession of emails between Nate and I about emails he sent to Siobhan...
Email # 1
November 16, 2010
"I am auditioning for a feature directed by some hotshot kid who went to JMU. He is a sports fan and saw my Santa ESPN thing and asked his manager to find me. What a coincidence, huh? He has only been out here six months but his short films got him a studio job directing a supernatural thriller. I audition next week...psyched."
Nate paraphrased a bit from that paragraph which I instructed him to send. He was worried that she might ask what the guy's name was but, and later this would seem like a sign that we'd missed, she merely took the information in as par for the course in Nate's busy burgeoning acting career.
Email Trail # 2
December 3, 2010
nate shelkey wrote:
it is done!
On Mon, Nov 29, 2010 at 3:47 PM,
...INITIATE.
In this email you will DOWNPLAY your excitement at the callback because it is such a big part and your agent/manager said names might be attached.
The film is not yet titled but it entails a desperate man's search for a shadowy figure from his past. Feel free to elaborate on the horror/suspense acting you are working on for your callback which happens at the end of this week.
Now that she hasn't asked the name of the director you can concentrate on the MOVIE instead of the fact that the guy is from JMU.
Embellish however you see fit keeping in mind that we will be shooting some of what you write.
Somewhere in December Nate actually saw Siobhan in New York City...the big callback in his career was not discussed.
My theory in the next phase was that we would wait until March to continue the lie. This is what Nate wrote to Siobhan that day...
Email # 3
March 8, 2011
Two exciting bits o' news.
#1 I booked my first co-star! It's for Chuck. I play a Super Shuttle Driver. It shoots next week and it is a very funny little scene. Should be fun! I'm totally excited!
#2 Remember that movie I was telling you about? Well, I got that part and we finished shooting. I wasn't really allowed to say anything about it before. But it looks like they are gonna give me some footage so I can put it on my reel before the whole thing is done. I really wanna update my reel so I can hopefully get some sort of agent interest while pilot season is still going on!
I can't wait to show you my big scene. It should be pretty cool---I still am sort of nervous about it because I've been used to doing comedy so long that I am a little rusty on serious acting! Yeesh. You'll have to let me know what you think!
Now in the meantime, Nate, Cousin Timothy, and I got together at the office where I work (as of next Monday I'm moving on though, after 4 years, post coming on that whole big thing) and we shot for a couple of hours.
We then met the next weekend to edit it at Nate's apartment.
The final product was ready and waiting.
Final Email (or so we thought)
March 31, 2011 (8:55PM sent)
Nate Wrote:
Okay, here we go. Exciting! Here is a clip that they gave me for my reel. It's a rough cut but this is basically the beginning of the movie. Does it seem good enough for like something dramatic?
Razing The Bar
Let me know what you think.
Please take a moment to watch the video before we continue on with the post. It is just over 3 minutes long.
Are you back? You can see how the joke would play out, right??? She's been hearing about this movie for almost 6 months and finally when she watches it, there is ME, ACTUALLY SAYING THE WORDS "APRIL" AND "FOOL".
Can't miss, right???
Wrong.
Siobhan emailed Nate saying, "Looks great! Good film quality!"
She clearly had not watched the whole thing! She must have seen a portion of it and then moved on, as we all do with the myriad things people send us to watch. We enlisted Siobhan's fiance Ben to help hammer the point home.
Nate posted the clip to Ben's wall and Siobhan's wall on Facebook.
Hours later? She "liked" it. NO REACTION!!! WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON???
Ben frantically texted me that I needed to check my email. Okay, maybe he wasn't frantic but I was by this point.
I checked my email. This is what Ben wrote to me...
Email # 37 (uncounted emails between Nate and I wondering how the plan could have gone wrong)
April 3, 2011
Got home, asked if she'd watched this video Nate posted on my wall, she said, "yeah, I watched it." Boom.
So, quite a bit later, I sat down next to her, started watching w/ volume off, and laughed loudly when you came on. She asked why i was laughing, i said, "Did you watch the whole thing from Nate? B/c something really funny just happened." So I started it over, put the laptop in her lap, and videoed her watching the thing, TOTALLY ENJOYING IT, AND NOT GETTING THE JOKE! I even said, after, "were you surprised Brendan was in it?" And, "If it was for Nate's 'serious' reel, it seemed pretty goofy." But no, she said--no problem--the serious part before you came in could all be used for the reel. Oh, and how great Tim participated, too.
So--no fucking idea what comes next! But as much as I was almost giggling, and probably also looking amazed throughout the whole thing, she doesn't know anything yet. So we can keep trying. But I don't know how...
I'd finally had enough. I called up and demanded to speak with Siobhan.
I explained the whole thing to her and she kept saying, "You did all that?" But the joke had never landed.
Or, it did land, but right on top of me. Siobhan had finally gotten me back.
April Fail's Day!!!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Back From Bogota!
So Bogota was gorgeous and I made some great new friends and I experienced a completely different culture first hand and I had a brand new work experience unlike any I've ever gone through before. A slam dunk of a trip.
All that being said, it was good to get home and see Melody and Cashel and sit around and relax with them. It seems as if Cash got taller in the week I was gone. I told him to stop it!
549. Dedicated Follower Of Fashion - The Kinks from 'The Ultimate Collection (Disc 1)'
While I love The Kinks, this song is sort of nasty. It seems to be poking fun at a guy who loves fashion and underneath the whole song is a current of homophobia. Very catchy but mean.
550. It's Only Love That Gets You Through - Sade from 'Lovers Rock'
She is effortless. It is as if every sound you hear is coming directly out of her psyche, perfectly expressing some previously inarticulate need that had been etched over time into a multi-faceted diamond of tears, kisses, hurts, triumphs, and loss.
551. Grace - Jeff Buckley from 'Grace'
Pipes. Total pipes.
552. Murder Suicide Meteor Slave - Jeff Buckley from 'Sketches For My Sweetheart The Drunk'
Odd that the iPod would jump to another Buckley song but one from the unfinished vault of material he was working on when he died. He seems to be deliberately avoiding the kind of effortless beauty of the first album and the strain of that effort is all I can hear. On this whole sprawling album of strange material there is not one song I come away humming, as opposed to every song on 'Grace'. That isn't necessarily a negative, I enjoy antagonistic melody as much as the next post-punk but when you can break a heart like Jeff Buckley you might want to go for it.
553. Tell Your Granddad - Jesse Grieves from 'Colonial Box'
My friend Justin has been recording music since we were teenagers, sometimes we would record together, sometimes he would do it on his own. This particular song he played for me one lost afternoon at his house out in the middle of nowhere and it still makes me laugh to this day.
Tell your Granddad I love his daughter
Tell your Mother she should be a little calmer
Because I'm coming for her
But I'll take you
Ha!
554. Do You Want To Know A Secret - The Beatles from 'Please Please Me'
Pristine and perfect.
555. Enchanting Transylvania - Lenny Bruce from 'The Lenny Bruce Originals - Volume 1'
Again, impossible to explain. Just buy any live Lenny Bruce recordings you can find. You will not be sorry.
556. Rock Monsieur - Rock Failair from 'Boris Vian Et Ses Interpretes'
The joke here is that a 'croque monsieur' is a sandwich much like a grilled cheese. Get it? Rock Monsiuer? Mr. Rock? Poor poor French rockers.
557. Hain's Point - Rites Of Spring from 'End On End'
Again, the songs are forgettable but the sound and the delivery is so impassioned that it truly doesn't matter. Total commitment.
558. Trouble With Dreams - Eels from 'Live At Town Hall'
Life must be hard for a guy who has developed such a following that he can sell out Town Hall and gather them together to bum them out all at once.
559. The Heart Of Saturday Night - Tom Waits from 'The Heart Of Saturday Night'
No rasp, no engine blocks dressed up to sound like harpsichords, no creaking doors played in the key of E minor...just a great song sung really well.
560. Been A Son - Nirvana from 'Incesticide'
Killer melody. I remember getting this album and discovering Eugenius aka Captain America through the song 'Molly's Lips' and everything else on there pales in comparison. Still great, though.
561. Hypnotise - The White Stripes from 'Elephant'
I'm sorry, I had to duck under my desk to avoid the rampaging hype.
562. Message To The Boys - The Replacements from 'Don't You Know Who I Think I Was'
When The Replacements were putting together a batch of remixes and bonus tracks to be simultaneously released, the three living original members (Westerberg, Tommy Stinson, Chris Mars) got together and recorded two new songs to go along with it. This is one of 'em and it is a load of fun.
563. Holier Than Thou - Metallica from 'Black Album'
This is not a load of fun. Great, but fun? No.
564. Autumn Leaves - Rob Wasserman/Rickie Lee Jones from 'Duets'
You know what is most annoying about 'Autumn Leaves'? When they get wet they smell like shit. And when they are dry they blow away.
565. Son - Deconstruction from 'Deconstruction'
Dave Navarro organized this project right after Jane's Addiction first imploded and I think it is a very interesting album. Not sure to this day why I bought it seeing as I was not a Jane's Addiction fan but whenever I hear a song from it I am glad I own it.
566. Last Exit - Pearl Jam from 'Vitalogy'
I know Eddie Vedder has farted in his life and it probably was funny. I know he must have cracked a joke in his life and it probably was funny. There are four or five other members of the band who must have done at least one funny thing in their lives at one point or another.
Strange, but not ONE of those moments has ever made it onto an album. Heads up, Jam, life is FUN.
567. Carry That Weight - The Beatles from 'Abbey Road'
Pearl Jam could take a hint from these guys who on one album side introduced us to Mean Mr. Mustard and Polythene Pam.
568. THE FAT SHIT! - Poppa Foxtrot 'Single'
I rest my case for funny music.
All that being said, it was good to get home and see Melody and Cashel and sit around and relax with them. It seems as if Cash got taller in the week I was gone. I told him to stop it!
549. Dedicated Follower Of Fashion - The Kinks from 'The Ultimate Collection (Disc 1)'
While I love The Kinks, this song is sort of nasty. It seems to be poking fun at a guy who loves fashion and underneath the whole song is a current of homophobia. Very catchy but mean.
550. It's Only Love That Gets You Through - Sade from 'Lovers Rock'
She is effortless. It is as if every sound you hear is coming directly out of her psyche, perfectly expressing some previously inarticulate need that had been etched over time into a multi-faceted diamond of tears, kisses, hurts, triumphs, and loss.
551. Grace - Jeff Buckley from 'Grace'
Pipes. Total pipes.
552. Murder Suicide Meteor Slave - Jeff Buckley from 'Sketches For My Sweetheart The Drunk'
Odd that the iPod would jump to another Buckley song but one from the unfinished vault of material he was working on when he died. He seems to be deliberately avoiding the kind of effortless beauty of the first album and the strain of that effort is all I can hear. On this whole sprawling album of strange material there is not one song I come away humming, as opposed to every song on 'Grace'. That isn't necessarily a negative, I enjoy antagonistic melody as much as the next post-punk but when you can break a heart like Jeff Buckley you might want to go for it.
553. Tell Your Granddad - Jesse Grieves from 'Colonial Box'
My friend Justin has been recording music since we were teenagers, sometimes we would record together, sometimes he would do it on his own. This particular song he played for me one lost afternoon at his house out in the middle of nowhere and it still makes me laugh to this day.
Tell your Granddad I love his daughter
Tell your Mother she should be a little calmer
Because I'm coming for her
But I'll take you
Ha!
554. Do You Want To Know A Secret - The Beatles from 'Please Please Me'
Pristine and perfect.
555. Enchanting Transylvania - Lenny Bruce from 'The Lenny Bruce Originals - Volume 1'
Again, impossible to explain. Just buy any live Lenny Bruce recordings you can find. You will not be sorry.
556. Rock Monsieur - Rock Failair from 'Boris Vian Et Ses Interpretes'
The joke here is that a 'croque monsieur' is a sandwich much like a grilled cheese. Get it? Rock Monsiuer? Mr. Rock? Poor poor French rockers.
557. Hain's Point - Rites Of Spring from 'End On End'
Again, the songs are forgettable but the sound and the delivery is so impassioned that it truly doesn't matter. Total commitment.
558. Trouble With Dreams - Eels from 'Live At Town Hall'
Life must be hard for a guy who has developed such a following that he can sell out Town Hall and gather them together to bum them out all at once.
559. The Heart Of Saturday Night - Tom Waits from 'The Heart Of Saturday Night'
No rasp, no engine blocks dressed up to sound like harpsichords, no creaking doors played in the key of E minor...just a great song sung really well.
560. Been A Son - Nirvana from 'Incesticide'
Killer melody. I remember getting this album and discovering Eugenius aka Captain America through the song 'Molly's Lips' and everything else on there pales in comparison. Still great, though.
561. Hypnotise - The White Stripes from 'Elephant'
I'm sorry, I had to duck under my desk to avoid the rampaging hype.
562. Message To The Boys - The Replacements from 'Don't You Know Who I Think I Was'
When The Replacements were putting together a batch of remixes and bonus tracks to be simultaneously released, the three living original members (Westerberg, Tommy Stinson, Chris Mars) got together and recorded two new songs to go along with it. This is one of 'em and it is a load of fun.
563. Holier Than Thou - Metallica from 'Black Album'
This is not a load of fun. Great, but fun? No.
564. Autumn Leaves - Rob Wasserman/Rickie Lee Jones from 'Duets'
You know what is most annoying about 'Autumn Leaves'? When they get wet they smell like shit. And when they are dry they blow away.
565. Son - Deconstruction from 'Deconstruction'
Dave Navarro organized this project right after Jane's Addiction first imploded and I think it is a very interesting album. Not sure to this day why I bought it seeing as I was not a Jane's Addiction fan but whenever I hear a song from it I am glad I own it.
566. Last Exit - Pearl Jam from 'Vitalogy'
I know Eddie Vedder has farted in his life and it probably was funny. I know he must have cracked a joke in his life and it probably was funny. There are four or five other members of the band who must have done at least one funny thing in their lives at one point or another.
Strange, but not ONE of those moments has ever made it onto an album. Heads up, Jam, life is FUN.
567. Carry That Weight - The Beatles from 'Abbey Road'
Pearl Jam could take a hint from these guys who on one album side introduced us to Mean Mr. Mustard and Polythene Pam.
568. THE FAT SHIT! - Poppa Foxtrot 'Single'
I rest my case for funny music.
Friday, January 21, 2011
The Massive Bogota Shuffle
Please pardon the down time between posts but I've had quite a time of it these past few weeks. By this time tomorrow I'll be headed to Bogota for a great gig and I've been hunkered down making sure I feel ready to roll. And I do.
Plus I've had a hard time keeping the iPod charged enough to type in my shuffle lists. What has been happening is I'll do a shuffle, get to work, scroll back to type in all the songs and by the time I've done that the battery has shit the proverbial bed.
So today, to make sure I post something before I head off to South America for the first time in my life (one of the many firsts this work trip is affording me), I brought the damn iPod charger with me. The following list is a huge one, a shuffle that has been going since sometime last week.
I won't blame you if you scroll through and pick and choose. There are times since I started this crazy project (i.e. reviewing every single song on my iPod, 6,973 to be exact, hope you plan on reading me until 2017) when I wish I could skip over certain songs, albums, whole genres. But I'm sticking to my self-imposed guns.
422. The Wedge - Dick Dale from King of The Surf Guitar: The Best Of Dick Dale
As a member of that vast six string fraternity I bow in reverence and homage to our house president, the man who has organize and scored so many sweet parties, drawing hot babes from all walks of life into our humble frat house, taking their occasionally reluctant feet and hearts and setting them to dance so that they might shake off their collegiate inhibitions and maybe flash us their tits.
423. Swanee River - Django Reinhardt from 'The Art Of The Jazz Guitar'
After having graduated from the awesome though perhaps more low-brow Dick Dale Academy and enrolling in graduate school in the Django Reinhardt School Of You'll-Never-Be-As-Good-As-Me-And-I-Only-Have-Three-Fingers Jazz Playing, the tendency is sometimes to throw your five-fingered inadequacies up in the air and simply say, "Why the hell do I even bother when cats like this can destroy me with their eyes closed and two fewer digits???' But ultimately inspiration prevails and you happily settle into your low status as a six-stringer.
424. Cathedral - Van Halen from 'Diver Down'
And then Eddie Van Halen says, "Why did you ever even go to college you kiss ass? I quit high school and listen to how I can play!"
425. O Girlfriend - Weezer from 'Weezer (Green Album)'
When Weezer open it up and let it pour out in sincerity and heartfelt emotion, there is no one better. When it is Rivers Cuomo testing out his math theories through songwriting exercises that involve throwing darts at topics and mixing them up with a formula that he was working on when he was at Harvard, not so much. This is thankfully from the first category. There is such a thing as being too smart for your own good.
426. God Damn King Kong - Pimp Fu/Bomer-B from 'Brooklyn Basement Tapes'
This is actually a cut on Pimp Fu's 'Coffe, Pot' classic but I'll also be including it on some future best-of-compilation...it is the first thing that Timothy and I ever recorded together so it is impossibly precious to me.
It took us a couple of hours. Timothy laid down the beat first to accompany the title that I had had in my head for ten years. Then we each wrote a couple bars to match the number of stanzas to the beat. Then I recorded an electric guitar track to mimic the zip-zip of a turntable being scratched and a melodic acoustic part to give it some melody.
Up there with my favorite artistic output ever.
427. Stomping Grounds - Fecund Youth from 'Branded: Hung Like A Bull'
That iPod must be thinking about my career retrospective! Tom DeVincke and I had been writing songs for a couple of months when he challenged me to write better lyrics. I'd basically been moping about some girl or five and being the dyed-in-the-wool punk rocker that he is, Tom felt that I ought to write about "something that matters". Now, I'm not saying these lyrics are worthy of the Nobel Peace prize but that little push sent me into much more complex territory. This impresses me about Tom to this day. That he would have the thought and express it.
428. Better Living Through Chemistry - Queens Of The Stone Age from 'Rated R'
Makes me want to be out at Joshua Tree at sunset around a fire with a bale of marijuana blazing away just over the hill so I can feel better about catching a contact high.
429. Disappearing Act - Ron Sexsmith from 'Cobblestone Runway'
I've been humming this song since I heard it again. This guy is the real deal and this is a killer tune.
430. Winter - Bebel Gilberto from 'Bebel Gilberto'
Sexy.
431. Kill You - Eminem from 'The Marshall Mathers LP'
Hilarious.
432. If I Fell - The Beatles from 'A Hard Day's Night'
Beatles.
433. Suicide Doors - Jack Logan from 'Mood Elevator'
How this guy slipped through the cracks back into obscurity is a major shame. His story is a fascinating one. Look him up sometime.
434. Disappearer - Sonic Youth from 'Goo'
Every now and then Sonic Youth inexplicably become the sexiest band on earth. I still don't understand why or how but it happens.
435. Madrin Rain - The Pogues from 'Hell's Ditch'
Great album produced by Joe Strummer. Shane McGowan sounds like a MESS. It's a wonder that guy is still alive.
436. Promises - Fugazi from '13 Songs'
This album went off like a bomb in the hardcore punk world and had all sorts of idiots screaming "SELL OUT" which in retrospect is hilarious.
437. Penitentiary - Ice Cube from 'War & Peace Volume 1 (The War Disc)'
Yeh-yeh!
438. You Brought A New Kind Of Love To Me - Frank Sinatra from 'Songs For Swingin' Lovers'
When Frank put this album out it was sort of a game changer, for his career as well as for the concept of the album in general. It was a cohesive unit, not just a random collection of songs. It was designed to be a single artistic achievement thematically, sonically, emotionally. This has sort of been lost in the shuffle of the magnitude of Ol' Blue Eyes career but he basically invented THE ALBUM.
439. Bullet The Blue Sky - U2 from 'Joshua Tree'
Bono thinks he is emoting with all his grunts and overbearing sighs but he just sounds constipated. Take some kaopectate and just sing, please.
440. Damned If I Do - The Artist Formerly Known As Prince from 'Emancipation (Disc 1)'
More excellence from the most bizarre superstar on the face of the earth.
441. Mannish Boy - Muddy Waters from 'Goodfellas (Soundtrack)'
What is there to say?
442. Love Me Do - The Beatles from 'Please Please Me'
Beatles.
443. The World May Never Know - Dr. Dog from 'Easy Beat'
Silly but forgettable.
444. Let's Stay Together - Al Green from 'Al Green - Greatest Hits'
If Al Green were starting out today, he'd be given some stupid name like AG or Greenback, or Money Man or some shit. Thankfully he started when he did and he's just Al Green.
445. New Fast Fucky - Soul Side from 'Soon - Come - Happy'
Sonically very interesting but the songs are just not quite as unique and memorable as the sound itself.
446. Neighborhood # 3 (Power Out) - Arcade Fire from 'Funeral'
I hope Paul Haggis brings these losers down too.
447. Come On Nature - The Proclaimers from 'Sunshine On Leith'
Ah, now that's a song, that's a band, these bespectacled geeks are MONSTERS. Song MONSTERS.
448. Dirt To Mud - Paul Westerberg from 'Stereo'
Speaking of monster, I'm working on a large post chronicling Paul Westerberg's solo career which has, to my mind, become far more interesting than that band he was in back in the day.
449. Crosseyed And Painless - Talking Heads from 'Sand In The Vaseline (Disc 1)'
Still not sure what all the fuss is about. It's very very good, don't get me wrong, and when I watch 'Stop Making Sense' it is clear that the live essence is monstrous but the catalog just leaves me a little flat.
450. Tell You Why Tomorrow - Husker Du from 'Warehouse: Songs And Stories'
The more I hear of Husker Du the more I think that if they'd actually gotten a real drummer and put Grant Hart out front with Bob Mould with an electric guitar they would have been UNSTOPPABLE. His drumming is just not good. The sound on it is muffled, there is no definition to it, it drags the songs down. I know this is a kind of blasphemy but I gotta say it. His songs? Top notch. His singing? Heartbreaking. His drumming? Amateur hour.
451. Give Judy My Notice - Ben Folds from 'Songs For Silverman'
Thank you Ben for taking my heart out of my chest, slicing it up into a million crying pieces, dicing it in a blender laced with acid, putting it in a beautiful martini glass and somehow making it taste like the greatest cocktail I've ever had.
452. (White Man) In Hammersmith Palais - The Clash from 'Story Of The Clash Volume 1 (Disc 2)'
The Clash.
453. Bad Boy - Backbeat Band from 'Backbeat Original Soundtrack'
Almost the Beatles.
454. Drink Deep - Rites Of Spring from 'End On End'
They were really onto something. There is some indescribable element of release and emotional output that Rites Of Spring dove after and achieved. I couldn't hum a song but whenever they come on it is almost embarrassing, like reading someone's diary.
455. Rite Of Passage - Onion from 'Beauty Is Ordinary'
Good tune.
456. Street Spirit (Fade Out) - Radiohead from 'The Bends'
Before they were great.
457. Born To Run - Bruce Springsteen from 'Born To Run'
Sometimes I can't help it and he just makes me roll my eyes. I like him when he isn't so sure of himself.
458. You're A Soldier - Husker Du from 'Warehouse: Songs And Stories'
Again with the subpar drumming.
459. Under The Cherry Moon - Prince from 'Parade'
This is perhaps the most sophisticated pop album ever made. It is a highlight of human creation.
460. Trans Am - Neil Young & Crazy Horse from 'Sleeps With Angels'
A whole album in response to being tagged in Cobain's suicide note, this one equates a failing muscle car with the American dream. Genius.
461. Get The Fuck Outta Dodge - Public Enemy from 'Apocalypse 91...The Enemy Strikes Black'
Yes sir.
462. Bookmark - Paul Westerberg from 'Suicaine Gratifaction'
Um, if anyone else recorded this it would merit a whole section in the massively watched documentary made about them by Ken Burns.
463. Steady Diet - Fugazi from 'Steady Diet Of Nothing'
464. Long Division - Fugazi from 'Steady Diet Of Nothing'
Two in a row from what I consider to be a classic. Not even Fugazi fans agree with me and I love that.
465. Ain't So Easy - David & David from 'Welcome To The Boomtown'
No, it ain't. Now that I've been in the Boomtown for almost 10 years, no, it ain't easy.
466. Ikebana - Kevin Shields from 'Lost In Translation'
Huh?
467. Mt. Pleasant - The Evens from 'The Evens'
The follow up to Fugazi with Ian and his wife making music on a smaller scale. Endearing but not all that engaging.
468. Accidents Will Happen - Elvis Costello & The Attractions from 'Armed Forces (Bonus Tracks)'
When you hear the tracks of his that didn't get chosen you start to get a sense that this guy will never be properly appreciated.
469. Morning Bell - Radiohead from 'Kid A'
Ouch. This one hurts very deeply.
470. Eyes Like Sparks - Grandpaboy from 'Mono'
One line. One guy in a basement. Again, come back for my monster post about Paul Westerberg and his various aliases.
471. Airline To Heaven - Billy Bragg & Wilco from 'Mermaid Avenue, Vol. 2'
Only interesting not transcendent like everything on Vol. 1.
472. Tonight The Heartache's On Me - Dixie Chicks from 'Wide Open Spaces'
Great.
473. My Bionic Eyes - Liz Phair from 'Liz Phair'
Hot.
474. 37 Yeti - Pimp Fu from 'Coffee, Pot'
So funny. There is actually a yeti making noise in this sound. Not sure how he recorded a Yeti in our Brooklyn basement in the summer.
475. Man In Need - Richard & Linda Thompson from 'Shoot Out The Lights'
Way underrated even if it is on all the best all time lists.
476. Girl You Have No Faith In Medicine - The White Stripes from 'Elephant'
Boy I Do Not Care About This Band.
477. Bobo In The Corner - The Beastie Boys from 'Ill Communication'
There were a few years there when these guys could do no wrong.
478. Dachau Blues - Captain Beefheart & The Magic Band from 'Trout Mask Replica'
I remember reading Rolling Stone's list of the top 100 albums of all time when I was in high school. I was shocked that I had never even heard of a few of them. This was one of them. So later when Columbia Records And Tapes was emptying out their vaults and basically destroying the record business without even knowing it, I picked this disc up. Colossally strange and amazing. This song in particular is deeply disturbing.
479. Kooks - David Bowie from 'Bowie At The Beeb (Disc 1)'
Twee.
480. Ed's Song - Emmitt Swimming from 'Wake'
Thank you, Justin.
481. Closing Time - Lyle Lovett from 'Lyle Lovett'
Before I stopped caring.
482. Nocturne No. 1 - Joe Jackson from 'Night Music'
Very sophisticated and suave.
483. Alligator Wine - Screamin' Jay Hawkins from 'Voodoo Jive: The Best Of Screamin' Jay Hawkins'
Bonkers. Truly bonkers.
484. Let's Pretend We're Married - Prince from '1999'
Sometimes Prince lets you into his thinking and he reminds you that teenage boys have NO IDEA what women like.
485. Summer's Cauldron - XTC from 'Skylarking'
This is one of those perfect albums and this is a highlight. Apparently they hated Todd Rundgren but, guys, the proof is in the pudding. Everyone agrees this is your best album ever. Put your pride down and give the man some props.
486. There's No Home For You Here - The White Stripes from 'Elephant'
There's No Song For Me Here.
487. The Ultimate Shit - Pimp Fu from 'Raw Fushi...t'
Indeed.
488. I Took A Trip On A Gemini Spaceship - David Bowie from 'Heathen'
To hear the change from the Bowie-Live-At-The-Beeb Bowie to this Bowie is simply astonishing. This isn't even a highly regarded album of his but man, I love it.
489. Mesmerizing - Liz Phair from 'Exile In Guyville'
Yes, yes, Liz, yes, you are.
490. Big City After Dark - Link Wray from 'Rumble! The Best Of Link Wray'
Every one of these songs is like a soundtrack to one of those propaganda films they used to show in the '50's to scare teenagers into staying straight, not putting each other's private parts together, and combing and cutting their hair on a regular basis. When they hear just a snatch of Link Wray they go INSANE.
491. The Max - Prince & The New Power Generation from 'O(+>'
Sing it Purple Yoda.
492. Ipanema Girl - Dirty Worxxx from 'The New Brazilian Sound'
Slinky.
493. I Got The Feelin' - James Brown from '20 All Time Greatest Hits!'
I do too, James. I do too.
494. This Bitter Earth - Banderas from 'Postcards From America'
Whatevs.
495. Body Of Water - Billy Bragg from 'Don't Try This At Home'
The more I hear this album the less I like it. Sorry Billy.
496. King Of The Mountain - Midnight Oil from 'Blue Sky Mining'
GREAT SONG.
497. Computer Blue - Prince from 'Purple Rain'
MORE GREAT SONG. NO IDEA WHAT IT MEANS!
498. You Shook Me All Night Long - AC/DC from 'Back In Black'
It's like this band embodies some vast plain of rock, they are Gods of the rocky plain which stretches in all directions and is empty and vast but somehow peopled by screaming headbangers.
499. Crows In The Wheatfield - Del Amitri from 'Del Amitri'
Ah Del Amitri. You should have really made it. Like last forever made it.
500. You're Getting To Be A Habit With Me - Diana Krall from 'Love Scenes'
Every time I hear this bitch open her mouth I picture her standing two inches away from a mirror staring at herself and blowing herself kisses. I can hear the acceptance speeches in her singing. GET OVER YOURSELF.
501. Ding Da Ding Ding - Pimp Fu from 'First Press'
Creepy and silent.
502. Bedlam Bridge - Midnight Oil from 'Blue Sky Mining'
More greatness from these down under geeks.
503. Bananeira - Bebel Gilberto from 'Tanto Tiempo'
Sexy!!! Did I say that about Bebel already? Sexy music.
504. Hair Pie: Bake 2 - Captain Beefheart & The Magic Band from 'Trout Mask Replica'
More absolute conundrums from Van Vliet & Co.
505. Plastic & Concrete - Iggy Pop from 'American Caesar'
Hey Grandpa, take a nap.
506. Betcha By Golly Wow! - The Artist Formerly Known As Prince from 'Emancipation (Disc 1)'
This album was the beginning of the new beginning of the end of the beginning of the end for the guy who used to be Prince and then was a symbol and then was formerly known as but soon would be back to being Prince. And it is great.
507. Shooting Dirty Pool - The Replacements from 'Pleased To Meet Me'
This is one that all Replacements fans seem to agree is a clunker but I love it. It is dirty and a gamble just like the title suggests.
508. Safety Dance - Jaymz Bee's Royal Jelly Orchestra from 'Cocktail: Shakin' And Stirred'
Sometimes I want to hear kitsch. Other times I don't.
509. Politik - Coldplay from 'A Rush of Blood To The Head'
Don't get me wrong, I like these guys. But I get the impression that they try to come up with weighty complex sounding titles (i.e. Politik) for songs that ought to be named "Gosh, I Miss Her" or "I Really Miss Her" or "Today I Thought I'd Miss Her But I'm Thinking About You Instead - What Do You Think That Means?"
510. A Tous Les Enfants - Joan Baez from 'Boris Vian Et Ses Interpretes'
Ever since watching the Bob Dylan documentary I can't help but feel my hackles rise whenever I hear this self-important blowhard open her mouth. You really thought you and Bob Dylan could CHANGE the world? And you were disappointed that all he wanted to do was MAKE GREAT MUSIC??? No wonder he left your boring ass.
511. Chloroform - Jack Logan from 'Bulk (Disc 1)'
More greatness from our Refrigerator Mechanic Laureate.
512. Belladonna - Ebatule from 'The New Brazilian Sound'
Okay, getting tired of slinky sexy South American music which is ironic because I'm going to Bogota, Colombia tomorrow!
513. Bad Moon Rising - Creedence Clearwater Revival from 'Chronicle, Vol. 1'
Cousins Liam, Mike and I recently decided that CCR is the only appropriate choice for greatest American rock band of all time.
514. Between Love & Like - Grandpaboy from 'Mono'
Massive Westerberg post coming...
515. Warm Fuzzy Feeling - Fastball from 'All The Pain Money Can Buy'
This one falls flat, guys, sorry.
516. Imagination - The Rolling Stones from 'Some Girls'
This album is out of control.
517. Dolphin - The Artist Formerly Known As Prince from 'The Gold Experience'
Hey, Prince, you know what? Why don't you go on national TV and show us your assless chaps?
518. Picture In A Frame - Tom Waits from 'Mule Variations'
Great ballad.
519. All The Critics Love U In New York - Prince from '1999'
Why this song works so well I'll never know.
520. Someday After A While - Eric Clapton from 'From The Cradle'
Snooze.
521. Slap Me On The Ass - Pimp Fu from 'Raw Fushi...t'
Hilarious. Will someone let him slap them on the ass already?
522. Hell Ain't A Bad Place To Be - AC/DC from 'If You Want Blood You've Got It (Live)'
No it ain't.
523. Makin' Whoopee - Frank Sinatra from 'Songs For Swingin' Lovers'
Again, a cut from perhaps the first concept album.
524. Frozen Lake - Buffalo Tom from 'Let Me Come Over'
This album is the perfect line between their acoustic flavored last few albums and the distorted fuzz rock of their first few. Great album.
525. When The Whip Comes Down - The Rolling Stones from 'Some Girls'
Awwwshit.
526. Boom Boom - John Lee Hooker from 'Very Best Of'
Awwwshitagain.
527. About A Girl - Nirvana from 'Bleach'
Man, you can really hear the impending departure of this lame drummer.
528. So What - John Cale from 'Walking On Locusts'
So what indeed, John. Don't name your song 'So What' unless you want someone to say so what about it.
529. Shambala - The Beastie Boys from 'Ill Communication'
The mystical lost city...which people are currently chasing in Thomas Pynchon's 'Against The Day' which I am re-reading...
530. We March - The Artist Formerly Known As Prince from 'The Gold Experience'
Oh, so the assless chap reveal wasn't enough now you think you are gonna get political on us? We March? About what? Your right to wear pants that have no ass on them?
531. Everyone Says "Hi" - David Bowie from 'Heathen'
Haunting.
532. Tell Kim I Said Hi - Elemenopy from 'Sgt. Walrus's Westward Journey - Volume 1'
Weird, first David Bowie says that everyone says hi and then these kooks are asking us to say hi for them. Patterns abound.
533. Complexity - The Roots from 'Phrenology'
How crazy is it that The Roots are on national TV every night with Fallon? I still get happy about that...
534. Bullroarer - Midnight Oil from 'Diesel And Dust'
Outrage and melody.
535. What You Want - Pimp Fu from 'Shocker'
I want more Pimp Fu music.
536. Cheap Reward - Elvis Costello from 'My Aim Is True'
Little known gem.
537. Bed Of Nails - Husker Du from 'Warehouse: Songs And Stories'
BAD DRUMMING.
538. Mary - Sublime from 'Robbin' The Hood'
When you are all strung out you have no standards. You can obviously still have talent but you just don't know what is good anymore.
539. How High The Moon Ella Fitzgerald from 'The Very Best Of Ella (Disc 1)'
After listening to Diana "I LOVE MYSELF" Krall, it is nice to hear a master. Although I can't hear two and a half minutes of scat singing with all the "dwi-bi-dooop-bwadda-mipmip-zuangalooooooooo". Like, sing the fucking words already.
540. Ngicueala - Es Una Historia - I Am Singing - Stevie Wonder from 'Songs In The Key Of Life (Disc 2)'
Bored.
541. Mountains Of Your Head - Buffalo Tom from 'Let Me Come Over'
Good but still bored.
542. Mansion On The Hill - Neil Young & Crazy Horse from 'Ragged Glory'
Oh man, this is the sound of a bunch of killer musicians out in the middle of nowhere in a big barn with every piece of equipment that they need and boatloads of inspiration and fury.
543. I Got You (I Feel Good) - James Brown from '20 All Time Greatest Hits!'
You forget about him until he starts singing and then you realize that he is still better than everybody else.
544. Neon Meate Dream Of A Octafish - Captain Beefheart & The Magic Band from 'Trout Mask Replica'
What is with the Beefheart???
545. My Friend Of Misery - Metallica from 'Black Album'
His lyrics can be blush-inducing. Honestly. Terrible lyrics. Great song, though.
546. All Apologies - Nirvana from 'MTV Unplugged In New York'
Can you believe that MTV once had the clout to get their name on Nirvana's latest album? Can you imagine that happening today??? Lady Gaga's MTV Unplugged? NEVER WOULD HAPPEN.
547. Unwashed And Somewhat Slightly Dazed - David Bowie from 'Bowie At The Beeb (Disc 1)'
Go fuck yourself Bowie.
548. Taillights Fade - Buffalo Tom from 'Let Me Come Over'
This song is my 20's.
Okay. Thank god that's over. I'll be back in a week or so from Bogota!
Plus I've had a hard time keeping the iPod charged enough to type in my shuffle lists. What has been happening is I'll do a shuffle, get to work, scroll back to type in all the songs and by the time I've done that the battery has shit the proverbial bed.
So today, to make sure I post something before I head off to South America for the first time in my life (one of the many firsts this work trip is affording me), I brought the damn iPod charger with me. The following list is a huge one, a shuffle that has been going since sometime last week.
I won't blame you if you scroll through and pick and choose. There are times since I started this crazy project (i.e. reviewing every single song on my iPod, 6,973 to be exact, hope you plan on reading me until 2017) when I wish I could skip over certain songs, albums, whole genres. But I'm sticking to my self-imposed guns.
422. The Wedge - Dick Dale from King of The Surf Guitar: The Best Of Dick Dale
As a member of that vast six string fraternity I bow in reverence and homage to our house president, the man who has organize and scored so many sweet parties, drawing hot babes from all walks of life into our humble frat house, taking their occasionally reluctant feet and hearts and setting them to dance so that they might shake off their collegiate inhibitions and maybe flash us their tits.
423. Swanee River - Django Reinhardt from 'The Art Of The Jazz Guitar'
After having graduated from the awesome though perhaps more low-brow Dick Dale Academy and enrolling in graduate school in the Django Reinhardt School Of You'll-Never-Be-As-Good-As-Me-And-I-Only-Have-Three-Fingers Jazz Playing, the tendency is sometimes to throw your five-fingered inadequacies up in the air and simply say, "Why the hell do I even bother when cats like this can destroy me with their eyes closed and two fewer digits???' But ultimately inspiration prevails and you happily settle into your low status as a six-stringer.
424. Cathedral - Van Halen from 'Diver Down'
And then Eddie Van Halen says, "Why did you ever even go to college you kiss ass? I quit high school and listen to how I can play!"
425. O Girlfriend - Weezer from 'Weezer (Green Album)'
When Weezer open it up and let it pour out in sincerity and heartfelt emotion, there is no one better. When it is Rivers Cuomo testing out his math theories through songwriting exercises that involve throwing darts at topics and mixing them up with a formula that he was working on when he was at Harvard, not so much. This is thankfully from the first category. There is such a thing as being too smart for your own good.
426. God Damn King Kong - Pimp Fu/Bomer-B from 'Brooklyn Basement Tapes'
This is actually a cut on Pimp Fu's 'Coffe, Pot' classic but I'll also be including it on some future best-of-compilation...it is the first thing that Timothy and I ever recorded together so it is impossibly precious to me.
It took us a couple of hours. Timothy laid down the beat first to accompany the title that I had had in my head for ten years. Then we each wrote a couple bars to match the number of stanzas to the beat. Then I recorded an electric guitar track to mimic the zip-zip of a turntable being scratched and a melodic acoustic part to give it some melody.
Up there with my favorite artistic output ever.
427. Stomping Grounds - Fecund Youth from 'Branded: Hung Like A Bull'
That iPod must be thinking about my career retrospective! Tom DeVincke and I had been writing songs for a couple of months when he challenged me to write better lyrics. I'd basically been moping about some girl or five and being the dyed-in-the-wool punk rocker that he is, Tom felt that I ought to write about "something that matters". Now, I'm not saying these lyrics are worthy of the Nobel Peace prize but that little push sent me into much more complex territory. This impresses me about Tom to this day. That he would have the thought and express it.
428. Better Living Through Chemistry - Queens Of The Stone Age from 'Rated R'
Makes me want to be out at Joshua Tree at sunset around a fire with a bale of marijuana blazing away just over the hill so I can feel better about catching a contact high.
429. Disappearing Act - Ron Sexsmith from 'Cobblestone Runway'
I've been humming this song since I heard it again. This guy is the real deal and this is a killer tune.
430. Winter - Bebel Gilberto from 'Bebel Gilberto'
Sexy.
431. Kill You - Eminem from 'The Marshall Mathers LP'
Hilarious.
432. If I Fell - The Beatles from 'A Hard Day's Night'
Beatles.
433. Suicide Doors - Jack Logan from 'Mood Elevator'
How this guy slipped through the cracks back into obscurity is a major shame. His story is a fascinating one. Look him up sometime.
434. Disappearer - Sonic Youth from 'Goo'
Every now and then Sonic Youth inexplicably become the sexiest band on earth. I still don't understand why or how but it happens.
435. Madrin Rain - The Pogues from 'Hell's Ditch'
Great album produced by Joe Strummer. Shane McGowan sounds like a MESS. It's a wonder that guy is still alive.
436. Promises - Fugazi from '13 Songs'
This album went off like a bomb in the hardcore punk world and had all sorts of idiots screaming "SELL OUT" which in retrospect is hilarious.
437. Penitentiary - Ice Cube from 'War & Peace Volume 1 (The War Disc)'
Yeh-yeh!
438. You Brought A New Kind Of Love To Me - Frank Sinatra from 'Songs For Swingin' Lovers'
When Frank put this album out it was sort of a game changer, for his career as well as for the concept of the album in general. It was a cohesive unit, not just a random collection of songs. It was designed to be a single artistic achievement thematically, sonically, emotionally. This has sort of been lost in the shuffle of the magnitude of Ol' Blue Eyes career but he basically invented THE ALBUM.
439. Bullet The Blue Sky - U2 from 'Joshua Tree'
Bono thinks he is emoting with all his grunts and overbearing sighs but he just sounds constipated. Take some kaopectate and just sing, please.
440. Damned If I Do - The Artist Formerly Known As Prince from 'Emancipation (Disc 1)'
More excellence from the most bizarre superstar on the face of the earth.
441. Mannish Boy - Muddy Waters from 'Goodfellas (Soundtrack)'
What is there to say?
442. Love Me Do - The Beatles from 'Please Please Me'
Beatles.
443. The World May Never Know - Dr. Dog from 'Easy Beat'
Silly but forgettable.
444. Let's Stay Together - Al Green from 'Al Green - Greatest Hits'
If Al Green were starting out today, he'd be given some stupid name like AG or Greenback, or Money Man or some shit. Thankfully he started when he did and he's just Al Green.
445. New Fast Fucky - Soul Side from 'Soon - Come - Happy'
Sonically very interesting but the songs are just not quite as unique and memorable as the sound itself.
446. Neighborhood # 3 (Power Out) - Arcade Fire from 'Funeral'
I hope Paul Haggis brings these losers down too.
447. Come On Nature - The Proclaimers from 'Sunshine On Leith'
Ah, now that's a song, that's a band, these bespectacled geeks are MONSTERS. Song MONSTERS.
448. Dirt To Mud - Paul Westerberg from 'Stereo'
Speaking of monster, I'm working on a large post chronicling Paul Westerberg's solo career which has, to my mind, become far more interesting than that band he was in back in the day.
449. Crosseyed And Painless - Talking Heads from 'Sand In The Vaseline (Disc 1)'
Still not sure what all the fuss is about. It's very very good, don't get me wrong, and when I watch 'Stop Making Sense' it is clear that the live essence is monstrous but the catalog just leaves me a little flat.
450. Tell You Why Tomorrow - Husker Du from 'Warehouse: Songs And Stories'
The more I hear of Husker Du the more I think that if they'd actually gotten a real drummer and put Grant Hart out front with Bob Mould with an electric guitar they would have been UNSTOPPABLE. His drumming is just not good. The sound on it is muffled, there is no definition to it, it drags the songs down. I know this is a kind of blasphemy but I gotta say it. His songs? Top notch. His singing? Heartbreaking. His drumming? Amateur hour.
451. Give Judy My Notice - Ben Folds from 'Songs For Silverman'
Thank you Ben for taking my heart out of my chest, slicing it up into a million crying pieces, dicing it in a blender laced with acid, putting it in a beautiful martini glass and somehow making it taste like the greatest cocktail I've ever had.
452. (White Man) In Hammersmith Palais - The Clash from 'Story Of The Clash Volume 1 (Disc 2)'
The Clash.
453. Bad Boy - Backbeat Band from 'Backbeat Original Soundtrack'
Almost the Beatles.
454. Drink Deep - Rites Of Spring from 'End On End'
They were really onto something. There is some indescribable element of release and emotional output that Rites Of Spring dove after and achieved. I couldn't hum a song but whenever they come on it is almost embarrassing, like reading someone's diary.
455. Rite Of Passage - Onion from 'Beauty Is Ordinary'
Good tune.
456. Street Spirit (Fade Out) - Radiohead from 'The Bends'
Before they were great.
457. Born To Run - Bruce Springsteen from 'Born To Run'
Sometimes I can't help it and he just makes me roll my eyes. I like him when he isn't so sure of himself.
458. You're A Soldier - Husker Du from 'Warehouse: Songs And Stories'
Again with the subpar drumming.
459. Under The Cherry Moon - Prince from 'Parade'
This is perhaps the most sophisticated pop album ever made. It is a highlight of human creation.
460. Trans Am - Neil Young & Crazy Horse from 'Sleeps With Angels'
A whole album in response to being tagged in Cobain's suicide note, this one equates a failing muscle car with the American dream. Genius.
461. Get The Fuck Outta Dodge - Public Enemy from 'Apocalypse 91...The Enemy Strikes Black'
Yes sir.
462. Bookmark - Paul Westerberg from 'Suicaine Gratifaction'
Um, if anyone else recorded this it would merit a whole section in the massively watched documentary made about them by Ken Burns.
463. Steady Diet - Fugazi from 'Steady Diet Of Nothing'
464. Long Division - Fugazi from 'Steady Diet Of Nothing'
Two in a row from what I consider to be a classic. Not even Fugazi fans agree with me and I love that.
465. Ain't So Easy - David & David from 'Welcome To The Boomtown'
No, it ain't. Now that I've been in the Boomtown for almost 10 years, no, it ain't easy.
466. Ikebana - Kevin Shields from 'Lost In Translation'
Huh?
467. Mt. Pleasant - The Evens from 'The Evens'
The follow up to Fugazi with Ian and his wife making music on a smaller scale. Endearing but not all that engaging.
468. Accidents Will Happen - Elvis Costello & The Attractions from 'Armed Forces (Bonus Tracks)'
When you hear the tracks of his that didn't get chosen you start to get a sense that this guy will never be properly appreciated.
469. Morning Bell - Radiohead from 'Kid A'
Ouch. This one hurts very deeply.
470. Eyes Like Sparks - Grandpaboy from 'Mono'
One line. One guy in a basement. Again, come back for my monster post about Paul Westerberg and his various aliases.
471. Airline To Heaven - Billy Bragg & Wilco from 'Mermaid Avenue, Vol. 2'
Only interesting not transcendent like everything on Vol. 1.
472. Tonight The Heartache's On Me - Dixie Chicks from 'Wide Open Spaces'
Great.
473. My Bionic Eyes - Liz Phair from 'Liz Phair'
Hot.
474. 37 Yeti - Pimp Fu from 'Coffee, Pot'
So funny. There is actually a yeti making noise in this sound. Not sure how he recorded a Yeti in our Brooklyn basement in the summer.
475. Man In Need - Richard & Linda Thompson from 'Shoot Out The Lights'
Way underrated even if it is on all the best all time lists.
476. Girl You Have No Faith In Medicine - The White Stripes from 'Elephant'
Boy I Do Not Care About This Band.
477. Bobo In The Corner - The Beastie Boys from 'Ill Communication'
There were a few years there when these guys could do no wrong.
478. Dachau Blues - Captain Beefheart & The Magic Band from 'Trout Mask Replica'
I remember reading Rolling Stone's list of the top 100 albums of all time when I was in high school. I was shocked that I had never even heard of a few of them. This was one of them. So later when Columbia Records And Tapes was emptying out their vaults and basically destroying the record business without even knowing it, I picked this disc up. Colossally strange and amazing. This song in particular is deeply disturbing.
479. Kooks - David Bowie from 'Bowie At The Beeb (Disc 1)'
Twee.
480. Ed's Song - Emmitt Swimming from 'Wake'
Thank you, Justin.
481. Closing Time - Lyle Lovett from 'Lyle Lovett'
Before I stopped caring.
482. Nocturne No. 1 - Joe Jackson from 'Night Music'
Very sophisticated and suave.
483. Alligator Wine - Screamin' Jay Hawkins from 'Voodoo Jive: The Best Of Screamin' Jay Hawkins'
Bonkers. Truly bonkers.
484. Let's Pretend We're Married - Prince from '1999'
Sometimes Prince lets you into his thinking and he reminds you that teenage boys have NO IDEA what women like.
485. Summer's Cauldron - XTC from 'Skylarking'
This is one of those perfect albums and this is a highlight. Apparently they hated Todd Rundgren but, guys, the proof is in the pudding. Everyone agrees this is your best album ever. Put your pride down and give the man some props.
486. There's No Home For You Here - The White Stripes from 'Elephant'
There's No Song For Me Here.
487. The Ultimate Shit - Pimp Fu from 'Raw Fushi...t'
Indeed.
488. I Took A Trip On A Gemini Spaceship - David Bowie from 'Heathen'
To hear the change from the Bowie-Live-At-The-Beeb Bowie to this Bowie is simply astonishing. This isn't even a highly regarded album of his but man, I love it.
489. Mesmerizing - Liz Phair from 'Exile In Guyville'
Yes, yes, Liz, yes, you are.
490. Big City After Dark - Link Wray from 'Rumble! The Best Of Link Wray'
Every one of these songs is like a soundtrack to one of those propaganda films they used to show in the '50's to scare teenagers into staying straight, not putting each other's private parts together, and combing and cutting their hair on a regular basis. When they hear just a snatch of Link Wray they go INSANE.
491. The Max - Prince & The New Power Generation from 'O(+>'
Sing it Purple Yoda.
492. Ipanema Girl - Dirty Worxxx from 'The New Brazilian Sound'
Slinky.
493. I Got The Feelin' - James Brown from '20 All Time Greatest Hits!'
I do too, James. I do too.
494. This Bitter Earth - Banderas from 'Postcards From America'
Whatevs.
495. Body Of Water - Billy Bragg from 'Don't Try This At Home'
The more I hear this album the less I like it. Sorry Billy.
496. King Of The Mountain - Midnight Oil from 'Blue Sky Mining'
GREAT SONG.
497. Computer Blue - Prince from 'Purple Rain'
MORE GREAT SONG. NO IDEA WHAT IT MEANS!
498. You Shook Me All Night Long - AC/DC from 'Back In Black'
It's like this band embodies some vast plain of rock, they are Gods of the rocky plain which stretches in all directions and is empty and vast but somehow peopled by screaming headbangers.
499. Crows In The Wheatfield - Del Amitri from 'Del Amitri'
Ah Del Amitri. You should have really made it. Like last forever made it.
500. You're Getting To Be A Habit With Me - Diana Krall from 'Love Scenes'
Every time I hear this bitch open her mouth I picture her standing two inches away from a mirror staring at herself and blowing herself kisses. I can hear the acceptance speeches in her singing. GET OVER YOURSELF.
501. Ding Da Ding Ding - Pimp Fu from 'First Press'
Creepy and silent.
502. Bedlam Bridge - Midnight Oil from 'Blue Sky Mining'
More greatness from these down under geeks.
503. Bananeira - Bebel Gilberto from 'Tanto Tiempo'
Sexy!!! Did I say that about Bebel already? Sexy music.
504. Hair Pie: Bake 2 - Captain Beefheart & The Magic Band from 'Trout Mask Replica'
More absolute conundrums from Van Vliet & Co.
505. Plastic & Concrete - Iggy Pop from 'American Caesar'
Hey Grandpa, take a nap.
506. Betcha By Golly Wow! - The Artist Formerly Known As Prince from 'Emancipation (Disc 1)'
This album was the beginning of the new beginning of the end of the beginning of the end for the guy who used to be Prince and then was a symbol and then was formerly known as but soon would be back to being Prince. And it is great.
507. Shooting Dirty Pool - The Replacements from 'Pleased To Meet Me'
This is one that all Replacements fans seem to agree is a clunker but I love it. It is dirty and a gamble just like the title suggests.
508. Safety Dance - Jaymz Bee's Royal Jelly Orchestra from 'Cocktail: Shakin' And Stirred'
Sometimes I want to hear kitsch. Other times I don't.
509. Politik - Coldplay from 'A Rush of Blood To The Head'
Don't get me wrong, I like these guys. But I get the impression that they try to come up with weighty complex sounding titles (i.e. Politik) for songs that ought to be named "Gosh, I Miss Her" or "I Really Miss Her" or "Today I Thought I'd Miss Her But I'm Thinking About You Instead - What Do You Think That Means?"
510. A Tous Les Enfants - Joan Baez from 'Boris Vian Et Ses Interpretes'
Ever since watching the Bob Dylan documentary I can't help but feel my hackles rise whenever I hear this self-important blowhard open her mouth. You really thought you and Bob Dylan could CHANGE the world? And you were disappointed that all he wanted to do was MAKE GREAT MUSIC??? No wonder he left your boring ass.
511. Chloroform - Jack Logan from 'Bulk (Disc 1)'
More greatness from our Refrigerator Mechanic Laureate.
512. Belladonna - Ebatule from 'The New Brazilian Sound'
Okay, getting tired of slinky sexy South American music which is ironic because I'm going to Bogota, Colombia tomorrow!
513. Bad Moon Rising - Creedence Clearwater Revival from 'Chronicle, Vol. 1'
Cousins Liam, Mike and I recently decided that CCR is the only appropriate choice for greatest American rock band of all time.
514. Between Love & Like - Grandpaboy from 'Mono'
Massive Westerberg post coming...
515. Warm Fuzzy Feeling - Fastball from 'All The Pain Money Can Buy'
This one falls flat, guys, sorry.
516. Imagination - The Rolling Stones from 'Some Girls'
This album is out of control.
517. Dolphin - The Artist Formerly Known As Prince from 'The Gold Experience'
Hey, Prince, you know what? Why don't you go on national TV and show us your assless chaps?
518. Picture In A Frame - Tom Waits from 'Mule Variations'
Great ballad.
519. All The Critics Love U In New York - Prince from '1999'
Why this song works so well I'll never know.
520. Someday After A While - Eric Clapton from 'From The Cradle'
Snooze.
521. Slap Me On The Ass - Pimp Fu from 'Raw Fushi...t'
Hilarious. Will someone let him slap them on the ass already?
522. Hell Ain't A Bad Place To Be - AC/DC from 'If You Want Blood You've Got It (Live)'
No it ain't.
523. Makin' Whoopee - Frank Sinatra from 'Songs For Swingin' Lovers'
Again, a cut from perhaps the first concept album.
524. Frozen Lake - Buffalo Tom from 'Let Me Come Over'
This album is the perfect line between their acoustic flavored last few albums and the distorted fuzz rock of their first few. Great album.
525. When The Whip Comes Down - The Rolling Stones from 'Some Girls'
Awwwshit.
526. Boom Boom - John Lee Hooker from 'Very Best Of'
Awwwshitagain.
527. About A Girl - Nirvana from 'Bleach'
Man, you can really hear the impending departure of this lame drummer.
528. So What - John Cale from 'Walking On Locusts'
So what indeed, John. Don't name your song 'So What' unless you want someone to say so what about it.
529. Shambala - The Beastie Boys from 'Ill Communication'
The mystical lost city...which people are currently chasing in Thomas Pynchon's 'Against The Day' which I am re-reading...
530. We March - The Artist Formerly Known As Prince from 'The Gold Experience'
Oh, so the assless chap reveal wasn't enough now you think you are gonna get political on us? We March? About what? Your right to wear pants that have no ass on them?
531. Everyone Says "Hi" - David Bowie from 'Heathen'
Haunting.
532. Tell Kim I Said Hi - Elemenopy from 'Sgt. Walrus's Westward Journey - Volume 1'
Weird, first David Bowie says that everyone says hi and then these kooks are asking us to say hi for them. Patterns abound.
533. Complexity - The Roots from 'Phrenology'
How crazy is it that The Roots are on national TV every night with Fallon? I still get happy about that...
534. Bullroarer - Midnight Oil from 'Diesel And Dust'
Outrage and melody.
535. What You Want - Pimp Fu from 'Shocker'
I want more Pimp Fu music.
536. Cheap Reward - Elvis Costello from 'My Aim Is True'
Little known gem.
537. Bed Of Nails - Husker Du from 'Warehouse: Songs And Stories'
BAD DRUMMING.
538. Mary - Sublime from 'Robbin' The Hood'
When you are all strung out you have no standards. You can obviously still have talent but you just don't know what is good anymore.
539. How High The Moon Ella Fitzgerald from 'The Very Best Of Ella (Disc 1)'
After listening to Diana "I LOVE MYSELF" Krall, it is nice to hear a master. Although I can't hear two and a half minutes of scat singing with all the "dwi-bi-dooop-bwadda-mipmip-zuangalooooooooo". Like, sing the fucking words already.
540. Ngicueala - Es Una Historia - I Am Singing - Stevie Wonder from 'Songs In The Key Of Life (Disc 2)'
Bored.
541. Mountains Of Your Head - Buffalo Tom from 'Let Me Come Over'
Good but still bored.
542. Mansion On The Hill - Neil Young & Crazy Horse from 'Ragged Glory'
Oh man, this is the sound of a bunch of killer musicians out in the middle of nowhere in a big barn with every piece of equipment that they need and boatloads of inspiration and fury.
543. I Got You (I Feel Good) - James Brown from '20 All Time Greatest Hits!'
You forget about him until he starts singing and then you realize that he is still better than everybody else.
544. Neon Meate Dream Of A Octafish - Captain Beefheart & The Magic Band from 'Trout Mask Replica'
What is with the Beefheart???
545. My Friend Of Misery - Metallica from 'Black Album'
His lyrics can be blush-inducing. Honestly. Terrible lyrics. Great song, though.
546. All Apologies - Nirvana from 'MTV Unplugged In New York'
Can you believe that MTV once had the clout to get their name on Nirvana's latest album? Can you imagine that happening today??? Lady Gaga's MTV Unplugged? NEVER WOULD HAPPEN.
547. Unwashed And Somewhat Slightly Dazed - David Bowie from 'Bowie At The Beeb (Disc 1)'
Go fuck yourself Bowie.
548. Taillights Fade - Buffalo Tom from 'Let Me Come Over'
This song is my 20's.
Okay. Thank god that's over. I'll be back in a week or so from Bogota!
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